


We Were Flying (But We Never Get Far)

by PurpleHearted



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: All the members were mentioned but you wished I didn't, Alternate Universe - Criminals, Bonnie and Clyde-ish, F/F, sanayeon are runaway criminals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:08:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25546456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurpleHearted/pseuds/PurpleHearted
Summary: No, nothing good starts in a getaway car.
Relationships: Im Nayeon/Minatozaki Sana
Comments: 9
Kudos: 67





	We Were Flying (But We Never Get Far)

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Getaway Car by Taylor Swift. Please don't read this if you're uncomfortable by any mentions of death, violence and blood. I tried not to be too graphic. Please keep this in mind.
> 
> p.s. don't kill me.

It was starting to annoy her.

  
  
  


The bright lights, the itchy handcuffs, and especially this overconfident detective.

  
  
  


It was infuriating. She was clenching her fist, waiting for a good enough moment to swing her fist.

  
  
  


"Im Nayeon," The detective broke the silence. Staring carefully at her reaction as she set a bunch of papers on the steel table.

  
  
  


"Born on September 22, 1995, blood type A, an orphan since the age of nine, arrested for petty thefts at nineteen, and now one of the most wanted women in this country by the age of twenty-four."

  
  
  


"If you already knew everything about me, why the fuck am I here?" Nayeon snapped. 

  
  
  


"Care to share more?" She replied with a calm and even voice and sat in front of her. "Your life has had a fair share of _interesting_ incidents. Even your parent–"

  
  
  


"And what makes you think I'll do that?" The steel table was cold but it was not as cold as the woman's eyes were. Calm and empty. The usual kind of people she's used to.

  
  
  


"You see," She opened a brown envelope revealing a set of grainy photos. "I've been following your case for months."

  
  
  


They were pictures of every store, building, bank, and cars they robbed. With x marks on each photo. Blood red x marks. Her marks.

  
  


She didn't expect it. Nayeon thought no one would ever notice the connection. Maybe deep down she had hoped they did, but she didn't expect she'd live the day to see someone piece it all together.

  
  
  


"I take it you wanted to leave a mark. Leave something behind for a short while and wish to be remembered." She pointed at the photo showing an enormous burnt building and a huge red x on the facade.

  
  
  


"Give me a little bit of your time, and I promise your story will be remembered by everyone forever." 

  
  
  


"So, how did you meet _her_?"

  
  
  


_Nothing about Nayeon's life was normal. Everything about her was odd, to say the least. She doesn't even get the comforting promise she'll live another day. Everything should be done as if it's her last. That's her way. She lives by it. Her beating heart just proves that she's doing something right._

  
  
  


_That's why she's always on guard with anything. She needs to be prepared with everything, with her kind of lifestyle one mistake means death. Pretty much nothing should surprise her at this point, but she couldn't be more wrong that day._

  
  
  


_Nayeon pushed the glass door and went inside. Tugging her hoodie harder and holding her cap a little tighter, she skillfully dodged through the CCTV spots around the store._

  
  
  


_It took her a week's worth of observation and planning to organize this robbery. And as far as she could tell, things were running smoothly._

  
  
  


_Or so she thought._

  
  
  


_Nayeon took a few more careful steps towards the cashier. Fingers wrapped around the gun that had been holstered in her waistband. Ready to threaten and demand everyone to put their hands up._

  
  
  


_She was about to pull it out when another person made an unnecessarily dramatic entrance, kicking the door open with a loud crack on the glass and rushed right in. Their gun pointed directly at the cashier._

  
  
  


_She raised her eyebrows at the unexpected scene. Nayeon could not be fooled, the robber was disguised as a man. As if Nayeon would really believe that because of the baggy shirt, black ski mask, and the godawful phony deep voice. Nayeon could've been fooled like everyone did at the store, but she was never 'anyone'._

  
  
  


_Customers and the staff raised their hands in panic. Nayeon didn't. She just continued to stare at the fool in front of her._

  
  
  


_"Raise your hands!"_

  
  
  


_The robber raised his (her) voice. It was funny really, it almost made her snort. The robber noticed the smile playing on her lips and marched right in front of her. Pointing the gun at her forehead._

  
  
  


_"Are you deaf or dumb? Bitch, I said raise your hands." The person in front of her barked orders._

  
  
  


_Nayeon did, lifting her left hand as her other hand gripped the gun, resting her finger at the trigger briefly. Waiting for a good enough timing to pull it out._

  
  
  


_"I'll count to five. If you don't raise both of your hands I'll bury a bullet between your eyes," she growls._

  
  
  


_"One."_

  
  
  


_The woman took a few more steps towards her._

  
  
  


_"Two."_

  
  
  


_The cold metal was pressed on her forehead._

  
  
  


_"Three."_

  
  
  


_Nayeon didn't even flinch._

  
  
  


_"Four."_

  
  
  


_She wanted to yawn._

  
  
  


_"Fi–"_

  
  
  


_Everyone winced as they heard the loud gunshot taking place. No one dared to make a sound, not wanting to take the attention of the two armed psychopaths._

  
  


_It took the woman by surprise, not by the sound but by the gun that she just revealed. Surprised to see someone holding another gun aside from her. Her wide eyes were telling Nayeon enough._

  
  
  


_Nayeon shot the nearest surveillance camera she spotted and made everyone jolt in surprise including the fool in front of her. Her plan was to get the cash as quiet and fast as she can. This woman was ruining everything for her._

  
  
  


_It was an unnecessarily long moment where both were too distracted to realize how the store's owner must've had sent the alarm off. It was a moment too late to run their escape._

  
  
  


_"Oh great, I'm cashless and I'm about to go to prison." The masked individual grunted, lowering her gun to her side. Too distracted by the loud blaring alarm. "Okay, who wants to volunteer to be my hostag–"_

  
  
  


_Nayeon rolled her eyes, she was unbelievable. She did not know why she wanted to help her. She could easily run away and shoot this woman who ruined her plan, take the money, and continue with her escape plan. That would be far easier, it won't complicate things._

  
  
  


_But Nayeon always liked complications._

  
  
  


_"Do you trust me?" It was a stupid question, but it would be more stupid if the girl in front of her said yes._

  
  
  


_"I don't," She was puzzled by the incredibly ridiculous question,_

  
  


_Nayeon shot the cashier open and grabbed as much cash as she could. Threatening the cashier if they move she'll shoot, while the other was on the lookout for any police car coming. Nayeon ran her way to the back entrance. It was an alley Nayeon was familiar with. She had memorized its routes for the last few days as she planned the robbery._

  
  
  


_They ran like their lives depended on it. Which was in reality they were. A few quick turns and Nayeon finally saw her parked car waiting._

  
  
  


_It looked normal, almost. There was an X scribbled underneath the car. The typical Im Nayeon trademark._

  
  
  


_"Let me drive." The girl said. The ridiculous fake deep voice was gone. Removing the absurd mask off, she revealed her long chocolate-colored locks._

  
  
  


_Who does this girl think she was?_

  
  
  


_"Why woul–"_

  
  
  


_Unfortunately, the sirens were getting louder. They didn't have much time._

  
  
  


_The woman was clearly a lunatic, volatile, and most importantly armed. She could shoot her at any given moment, take her keys and escape on her own._

  
  
  


_Naturally, she did the Nayeon thing. She threw the keys and got inside the car._

  
  
  


_"Go, go, go!" Nayeon yelled as she spotted some officers running towards their direction._

  
  
  


_Nayeon had to admit, the woman drove recklessly fast despite her initial doubts. If someone was following them earlier, they were clearly gone now._

  
  
  


_Nayeon was leaning her back on the hood watching the woman before her. Her hand was still inside her pocket concealing her gun, not letting her guard down even for a second._

  
  
  


_"I'm Nayeon, for your information."_

  
  
  


_Nayeon fairly knew she got a name for herself in this town. So when the girl brushed her name off, it puzzled her._

  
  
  


_"Sana," Sana offered her hand. "Minatozaki Sana". As if her name weighed heavier. Maybe it did, she was just vain._

  
  
  


**_As if_ ** . _She thought, but still held Sana's rough hand._

  
  
  


"So that's how you two became a duo? You both share a passion for stealing?" The detective elaborated, she was getting a little impatient as it seems. Nayeon could only fidget the chains of her cuffs, trying so hard to not lash out. This woman should be thankful she was even talking.

  
  
  


Nayeon snickered without an ounce of humor in it. She played with the small chains of her handcuffs, making soft thuds on the metal table.

  
  
  


"Interrupt me again while I'm talking and I'll wrap these metal chains around your neck. I'll make sure you won't utter another word ever again." Nayeon growled, eyeing the detective carefully. Waiting to see the delightful sight of fear blooms across people's eyes.

  
  
  


Their fear had always welcomed her, it had always welcomed her whenever her presence was around. So to actually see someone cowering in her words made her smile.

  
  
  


Nayeon chuckled at the thought. Only her boisterous voice had resonated across the interrogation room. The detective didn't flinch, but her eyes were wider; more alert. 

  
  
  


That was enough to be funny. It delighted her so much knowing that she was still feared even when she had cuffs around her wrists, unarmed, and guarded with several people outside this room watching her. 

  
  
  


It was truly giving her joy.

  
  
  


"Leave some packets of gummy bears in my cell, after that leave. I want to be alone." Nayeon planted herself at the back of her seat. She was done talking for today. 

  
  
  


"But you can't–"

  
  
  


Nayeon always gets what she wants. Not even prison would change that.

  
  
  


"But what?" Nayeon slammed her hands on the table, as she stood up making the chair fall backward. The loud thump made the guards rush inside. They were about to march towards Nayeon when the detective raised her hand. _Everything's under control._

  
  
  


"My last trial is set next week, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be sentenced to death, and until then I am more than happy to shut my fucking mouth before you get a chance to get any more information from me." She jabbed her finger on the detective's chest as hard as she could before gripping her collar tight. Wrinkling the crisp blazer.

  
  
  


There's a nameplate plaster on the breast pocket. _Mina._

  
  
  


"What's sadder? Buying me my fucking snack or knowing you helped keep one of the nation's biggest mystery to my grave, _Mina_." Nayeon continued as the guards witnessed her unruly outburst.

  
  
  


_Even as I am in prison I could still make everyone my bitch._

  
  
  


The detective was silent, still deciding to weigh in the decision. In the end, she gave in. She ordered someone to bring the snack inside her and escorted Nayeon outside the interrogation room and to her holding cell.

  
  
  


Once the cuffs were finally removed and she was alone (as much as she could get), she lay down on her lumpy prison bed. Her eyes were trained on the dull gray cement ceiling as she wondered about _her_.

  
  
  


_"Why the fuck should I trust you?" Nayeon was getting annoyed, the woman had been following her for hours now. Okay sure they met under a very unique circumstance and maybe she was a hella good of a driver, but that didn’t mean Nayeon would trust this nutcase._

  
  
  


_"I'm a lot of things, but I'm no traitor," Sana assured, "If I wanted to betray you I would've killed you when I had the chance." Then she pulled her gun and waved it in front of her so carelessly._

  
  
  


_"Put the fucking gun down," She hissed, it's a good thing it was dark and no one was near enough to hear or pay attention to them. "Are you fucking insane? You're gonna get us both arrested."_

  
  
  


_"So, is that a yes?" Sana demanded, "Nevermind, I'll take that as a yes."_

  
  
  


_She was grinning like a madwoman. It felt like she was welcoming trouble. Deep down she knew she did._

  
  
  


_It took them weeks of preparation and countless arguments to finally decide where, when, and how they'll rob next._

  
  
  


_They decided to go a little bigger since they would split the money into two. So they decided to rob a town bank at Yongin. It took Nayeon a whole week to establish a plan._

  
  
  


_"We did it!" Sana blurted excitedly, she was running outside first to set their getaway car for a speedy flee, clutching a big bag of cash as she ran._

  
  
  


_Nayeon rolled her eyes for the nth time that day. "Can you please save that excitement for when we get away with this?" Nayeon was losing every ounce of patience within her (or maybe that's just her breath)_

  
  
  


_The girl was nothing but loud, unstable, and unpredictable. It was everything she didn't want._

  
  
  


_But maybe it was all she needed._

  
  
  


_A few more weeks passed, the more places they robbed. They were a lot richer, their names were even plastered across every news channel._

  
  
  


_At that point, Nayeon knew she did something absolutely right or terribly wrong._

  
  
  


_She hoped it was the former._

  
  
  


_~~~_

  
  
  


Mina placed a newspaper on the table. On the front page, it showed a photo of a burnt building. 

  
  
  


**_Seoul Investigators Have Yet to Identify Any Suspects to the Mysterious Arson Case._ **

  
  
  
  


"It was you," Mina stated, sure of herself. She was not asking nor was she accusing. It simply was a statement. Nayeon didn't have enough fuck to care. So what? She burned a building, it wasn’t like she would have been something lower than what she is right now. "I saw the reports on this, all of the bombs were placed into a big X."

  
  
  


Nayeon hopes Mina knew she wouldn't get a reply. She won't give any confirmation or denial of anything, but if this woman expects her to then she's the bigger fool here.

  
  
  


"Why?" She continued to press for answers, it was the biggest question she had. "You didn't steal anything from that building. You even risked getting caught as soon as you stepped foot on Seoul so why risk such a possibility?"

  
  
  


Nayeon could only shrug. Having less and less of her attention to Mina, but at least she did answer.

  
  
  


"She asked me to follow her, so I did."

  
  
  


_Nayeon looked at her with those dark empty eyes, she glanced straight into her face. Searching for any remorse or doubt, any clue of what she's feeling but she found none. Sana was beaming without any trace of guilt or doubt. A wrongful smile plastered on her lips._

  
  
  


_Sana's fingers lit up the match. Taking a pause to look at her, as the edge of her mouth twitched. And just like that, the whole building was covered with orange hot fire._

  
  
  


_It continues to grow, engulfing the huge letters at the very top._

  
  
  


**_Minatozaki Enterprise._ **

  
  
  


_"You better get your ass inside this car. We don't have much time until this whole place blows up." Nayeon could only say, taking a few steps back. She was trying to put more distance between them and the burning building. Any seconds now the bombs within their proximity would explode. It won't be a satisfying place for anyone by that time anymore._

  
  
  


_Sana nodded, but her eyes were still trained at the orange flames that continued to spread through the building, swallowing everything and possibly anyone on its path._

  
  
  
  


_"Flames are greedy," Sana claimed, her empty eyes now filled with burning rage yet she was smiling. It was the maddest look Nayeon had ever seen from her yet."They take whatever's in their path, leaving nothing and no one untouched. They're destructive and contagious. That's why I love them."_

  
  
  


_That night Nayeon asked her for an explanation._

  
  
  


_"They once took everything from me. It was time to take it back."_

  
  
  


_Sana looked cruel, wrong,_ **_beautiful_**.

  
  
  


~~~

  
  


"How did you manage to outrun the law for so long?" Mina scribbled some words Nayeon didn't care to look at. 

  
  
  


Nayeon shrugged, the metal chains clanking at the movement. She smiled at the question. She considered it a compliment really.

  
  
  


_They did everything to lose all of their trails. Nayeon knew sooner or later something's gonna happen._

  
  
  


_They did everything to prevent that, of course. Nayeon carefully decided their hotel hopping locations, their fake names, even their hairstyles. Once Sana needed to pretend she was pregnant to lessen the suspicion._

  
  
  


**_Fun times_** _, she recalled._

  
  
  


_Nayeon was sitting at the table, placing her guns on top. It was her turn to check their inventory to see if there are enough bullets in case they encounter some officers. Not to mention that Sana had a thing with throwing knives at trees for entertainment. So Nayeon decided to clean, and sharpen their weapons._

  
  
  


_Sana was in the living room, holding a remote as she switched to different channels every minute. Getting bored too quickly._

  
  
  


_It felt domestic, like it was something a normal 20-year-old would do on a weekend. But they weren’t, and they will never be._

  
  
  
  


_They were criminals, they were always being chased, they couldn't live a normal life. They both know that, however, that didn't hold them back from wishing._

  
  
  


_They weren't normal 20-year-olds. They couldn't afford the luxury to stay in one place for too long._

  
  
  


_They were always on the run, from the law or their past. Nayeon doesn't know, it was always unclear._

  
  
  


_Nayeon doesn't wish for much. A normal family? A normal childhood? A normal life?_

  
  
  


_Fuck that._

  
  
  


_All she just wishes for now is time. Enough time to at least pretend they were. Enough time to delude herself from anything. She wished that at least for a short fraction of the day she could have this._

  
  
  


_It was pathetic, she knows, but much to her dislike, she wasn't numb enough to stop herself from pretending._

  
  
  


_Nayeon had set down all her handguns on the table. With all their different types and sizes. She grabbed a cloth and started cleaning Sana's favorite set of knives._

  
  
  
  


_What she didn't realize was that Sana turned the television off. Probably giving up trying to watch anything that remotely entertained her. All she did next was take a seat beside Nayeon._

  
  
  


_"You know," Nayeon broke the silence between them, "I never really knew why you followed me out of the store. You said you didn't trust me."_

  
  
  


_She set down the newly sharpened throwing knife. The dual-edged spear point blade. Sana's favorite._

  
  
  


_Sana grabbed the longest one from the set, the one for cutting and slashing. As she took the spare cloth on the side of the table and started polishing the metal._

  
  
  


_Sana stopped and looked at Nayeon. The mischievous glint in her eyes–those eyes that warned everyone who looks at them, that she's all sorts of trouble. It pierced through your whole being, letting you feel bare as she stared intently into her eyes._

  
  
  


_"I didn't have a choice," With a tiny smirk playing across her lips she said. No tone of humor or sarcasm in them. It was absolutely sincere which was a rare moment Nayeon noted._

  
  
  


_"And you were all I have."_

  
  
  


_Nayeon wants to play it off and give her a reply like_ ** _'what smooth thing to say'_** _or like_ ** _'if_** **_you wanted to get into my pants tonight, you could've just asked'_** _. But something told her not to._

  
  
  


_So she gave Sana a short nod and continued to sharpen the knives as Sana polished them._

  
  
  


_It was a tiring day, and Sana fell asleep first. Nayeon wasn't sure that the other girl was fast asleep. So she stared at the ceiling, waited for the girl beside her to even her breath._

  
  
  


_She felt the need to say something. Her mind couldn't help but succumb to her loud thoughts._

  
  
  


_Nayeon turned around, and faced the sleeping girl in front of her. Sana looked pretty, angelic even._

  
  
  


_Her mind couldn't wrap around the fact this was the same girl she talked to earlier. She just looked so peaceful._

  
  
  


_Under her breath and under the faint light from the moon, she whispered something she was ashamed of admitting. It sounded soft as it was desperate._

  
  
  


_"You're all I have too."_

  
  
  


~~~

  
  
  


_Nayeon was just too exhausted today._

  
  
  


_The police were tailing them from Gumi to Jinju. All the cities and towns in between would automatically result in their capture. So they were stuck here in the middle of the woods with almost no light except the trashy flashlight she stole on a convenient store they passed by earlier, and of course the moon._

  
  
  


_It was February 23. It's that god-awful day again. That explained how unusually unlucky they were today._

  
  
  


_Nayeon wanted to be alone. The universe hated her. She had known for a long time now, but it hated her a little more on the 23rd of February._

  
  
  


_A good example would be today, and another one would be fifteen years ago when her whole family was killed. Leaving her to fend for herself, she had run away from abusive foster parents, and stole her way to keep her stomach from growling._

  
  
  


_That's why each year, whether Nayeon would ever admit it or not. She lets those suppressed tears fall once a year, to grief about something she would never fully heal from._

  
  
  


_That was why she sat on the cold grass, pressing her back on a tree as she let her emotions overwhelm her for once._

  
  
  


_She heard a twig break not far away, she looked up and pulled a knife stashed discreetly on her ankle. Holding it a little too tight, she was ready to cut anyone's throat. It was useless to grab a gun, she could barely see anything even her shadows._

  
  
  


_With a quick swift motion, she was on her feet, the sharp metal slashing the air not far from her intruder's face._

  
  
  


_"Woah there," Sana sidestepped, barely dodging the sharp metal. "I didn't know you hate me that much."_

  
  
  


_She raised both of her hands in defense. A small devious smirk was playing across her lips, a sign she was amused._

  
  
  


_Nayeon could only grumble as she stashed the knife back to its place, and plopped down on the soft dirt and sat in silence. Tried to wipe the tears across her cheeks as she sat silently._

  
  
  


_"So it's today," Sana mumbled, looking at the stars that weren't there. She didn't need to elaborate, they both knew what they're talking about._

  
  
  


_"Do you want to talk about it?" She trudged her way to Nayeon, as she sat ever so ungracefully on Nayeon's left side._

  
  
  


_Sana was now glancing at her side, looking intently at her eyes. Sana was never truly happy. She smiled, giggled, and laughed like a usual psychopath would, but the big reminder of that was this girl's eyes in front of her. It was filled with malice, mischief, and sarcasm. Most of the time, it was just plain and empty._

  
  
  


_That was what she looked like right now. She looked wounded._

  
  
  


**_Did she always have magnetic honey-colored eyes?_ **

  
  
  


_Nayeon wanted to say no. However, everything suddenly dawned on her. Sana was just as broken as her. Maybe even more._

  
  
  


_It took a lot from her to move her lips. It took a lot from her to utter a word. It took a lot of her to acknowledge something she skillfully repressed for fifteen years._

  
  
  


_"It was supposed to be me..." She began, staring at the dark blank sky hoping that the person she was thinking of was listening to her. Even just this once she hoped her little sister listened to her one more time. "Mom and dad asked us to hide in the closet. They were frantic and were shouting. They were rushing us inside the room."_

  
  
  
  


_Nayeon tried to blink off the tears forming in her eyes but she continued. "Only one of us could fit inside the closet. I let my sister hide inside while I hid under the bed."_

  
  
  


_Tears were about to fall, yet she didn't stop. "Those men killed my parents. Those bastards entered the room, they were about to check under the bed when T-tzuyu jumped outside."_

  
  
  


_Saying her name ate her alive. Uttering that name burned something in her chest. Slow hot lava spread across her chest, making her tremble harder and breathe a little less._

  
  
  


_There was no point in hiding her tears, they were streaming down at the face. It's been fifteen long years but it was the first time she uttered that name again. The name sounded familiar and heavy. It sounded more like a punishment than a name to her ears because it was. For fifteen years it still is._

  
  
  


_"She yelled and screamed. It was supposed to be me. I was supposed to be the one they'd find. I was supposed to be the one they'd kill. But I just watched, I just hid there listening to a loud gunshot and saw a lifeless body fall."_

  
  
  


_Nayeon can hardly breathe, yet her chest feels lighter. "She was five years old, yet she's braver than I'll ever be." Nayeon was shaking with anguish, grief, and regret._

  
  
  


_Sana didn't utter a word. All she did was offer her a handkerchief and wrapped her arms around the crying broken girl._

  
  
  


_Nayeon spent the whole night crying on Sana's shoulders. Sana just held her tight, rubbing her hand on her back saying nothing. Only giving Nayeon warmth she was too long deprived of._

  
  
  


_Brokenness was not a new thing for them, but sometimes it was just too much to handle._

  
  
  


_They said nothing. They knew it wasn't their job._

  
  
  


_Sana wasn't here to fix her, that Nayeon knows._

  
  
  


_~~~_

  
  
  


"Tell me more about Minatozaki Sana. I'm sure you've grown used to each other by the months you guys were on the run."

  
  
  


Mina lifted her gaze when she heard Nayeon snort. Not expecting her reaction.

  
  
  


"The funny thing is," A taunting smirk placed on her lips. "She knew me, but I never knew her."

  
  
  
  


_It was so foreign to her._

  
  
  


_Nayeon first went to her bed, tucking herself under the cold sheet. Sana followed. A few weeks ago as prude as it sounds. They both agreed to have different beds for personal reasons._

  
  
  


**_"How would I know if you won't kill me in my sleep and take all the money?" Sana demanded, arms crossed as she looked at Nayeon. Eyeing the gun Nayeon had always set under her bed._ **

  
  
  


**_"Why the hell would I do that?" Nayeon questioned, she can't think of any assurance to give her._ **

  
  
  


_So now that they came into an agreement to finally share a bed. Nayeon felt uncomfortable with the unusual feeling of someone sleeping next to her, it was making her feel things._

  
  
  


_Perhaps she missed the warmth of someone that entails reassurance, but she can't ignore the cold hard reminder that she had always been alone._

  
  
  


_She had been alone for years now._

  
  
  


_She shook her head. Why did such a pathetic thought enter her mind tonight? She forced herself to close her eyes, yet the soft purr of Sana's breath forced her to be reminded that someone was beside her now. She had someone. She was not alone anymore. Someone was here for her, at least for now._

  
  
  


_Sana's presence was messing her head. She shouldn't be feeling any of this. Maybe she should just take all of the money and run away._

  
  
  


_She faced the sleeping girl beside her, brows were knitted together. Whimpering in her sleep. "Please don't leave." She cried, a tear running through her cheeks. Eyes still closed._

  
  
  


_"I don't want to lose you too." Sana pleaded, she was breathing hard. Her shoulders were shaking, but she was still asleep. Sana was having a nightmare._

  
  
  


_"Sana," Nayeon softly said, "Sana, wake up." She was holding the woman's shoulder, shaking it gently_.

  
  
  


_Sana was already sobbing. She sobbed harder when she opened her eyes. Confusion briefly turned to anger that eventually turned to bitter submission._

  
  
  


_What Nayeon didn't know was that Sana has nightmares. She has them every night, following Sana to every bed she goes to. It made Nayeon less lonely, but everything has a price. Perhaps waking up by Sana's sobs, was a fair price to pay._

  
  
  


_"How long have you got nightmares?" Nayeon softly asks one morning._

  
  
  


_Sana looks at her confused, still thinking whether to dodge the question or not._

  
  
  


_Sana shrugged, "Five."_

  
  
  


_"Months?"_

  
  
  


_"Years."_

  
  
  


_"What is it abo–"_

  
  
  


_"Can you fuck off?" Sana stood up, leaving her plate. Sana had just left. Taking a coat in the closet and she left, not missing the opportunity to slam the door shut. "I don't want to talk about it."_

  
  
  


_Nayeon waited for her, she waited for Sana to come back. It took ten hours but at least she did._

  
  
  


_Sana stepped inside the room drunk, colder, and distant_.

  
  
  


"But did Sana love you, then?" Mina leaned closer, eyes trained directly on her every move. Waiting for Nayeon to respond.

  
  
  


She was getting on her nerves. Every inch of Nayeon's body was screaming for her to punch her at the very least. She hates nosy people, especially when they have badges.

  
  
  


"No," She said without any doubt, without any hint of sadness, just unacknowledged bitterness. It was just the harsh truth, she relented. "I don't think you could ever call it that."

  
  
  


_Sana was shoving their clothes in one of the bags. Always preparing for an emergency pack, it was always a routine whenever they're staying at a hotel._

  
  
  


_Nayeon kicked off her shoes, not minding the dirt hitting the carpet. She walked inside, heavy steps as she approached the bed. Her feet felt numb, each step felt like her entire leg was made of jelly. She barely could control her steps, she tried her best to walk in a straight line._

  
  
  


_She sprawled on to the bed as she sighed. The soft cushion hit her back making her muscles relax. She didn't think she was this tired, all the adrenaline she had for the last few days were starting to wear her down. It's been five days since the Busan officers were tailing them, it was exciting as it was tiring._

  
  
  


_They end up stealing a car parked at the back of a mall and decide to drive eight hours straight with no particular destination._

  
  
  


_After what felt like hours she pulled her shirt off, and threw her pants to god knows where and went under the sheets with only her undergarments._

  
  
  


_Nayeon closed her eyes, trying to convince her body to call it a night and sleep. Sleep doesn't come to her as much as she likes, even with all the dreadful nightmares she gets, she still wants sleep. She just wished that if something was normal about her it was her ability to slumber peacefully, she wished it was that._

  
  
  


_She heard Sana zipping the last bag. The footsteps were getting near. Nayeon heard a soft rustle of a garment being thrown at the right side of the room as she felt another weight being added to the bed._

  
  
  


_She squinted to the left side. Sana always had a shirt on. She told her off it was reasonable for a faster run away, but they both knew it was an excuse. They both knew it was to hide the faded marks made by bullets, knives, and situations the woman beside her wishes to forget._

  
  
  


_Sana was dangling a pocket watch with her hand. This woman was never gentle, she would always run headfirst, spit out cold-hard facts, slap you with the truth, but never gentle. Yet Nayeon wonders why at the end of each day, a short minute of the night, Sana would hold this misshaped pocket watch as if it was made of glass that would break if held tighter._

  
  
  


_Wrapping her fingers as delicately as possible, as she ran her fingers on the engraved letters on it._

  
  
  


**_MH_ **

  
  
  


_She set the watch gently at the bedside and turned off the lamp. Nayeon wanted to get answers, but Sana never told her and Nayeon never asked._

  
  
  


_Her mind knew but maybe something inside her chest wasn't ready._

_Come to think of it,_ _maybe she never will._

  
  
  


Nayeon chuckles, relaxing her arms for a bit as she rests her hands on the table leaning closer to the woman in front of her.

  
  
  


Maybe Sana will never love her. Nayeon doubted both of them could ever feel such a thing, but yes they weren't in love. She refused to call it that.

  
  
  


She beckoned the detective closer as if she was a high schooler gossiping. Nayeon glanced from side to side looking for anyone watching them acting like there was an ounce of shame in her body. Ignoring the fact that there was a recorder at their side recording every single word she uttered for the last couple of hours.

  
  
  


"If you wanted to know if we fucked each other. Why yes we did." She had this impish look across her face as she watched Mina's reactions, trying to look as neutral as she could but Nayeon knew in the back of her head. Parts of her brain were twisting and turning. Answering one of the biggest questions everyone had been asking.

  
  
  


She knows half of the people knew they were lovers and the other half would be convinced they were just on-the-run outlaws who decided to take each other in.

  
  
  


Nayeon knew neither were wrong.

  
  
  


_Weeks of having to put up with Sana's unusual behavior, all the craziness. The unpredictable headaches she got from an unplanned robbery because she felt like it, even reckless driving. Little by little she's growing used to it all._

  
  
  


_Finally._

  
  
  


_They were in a decent hotel this time. A thousand miles from the bank they robbed earlier. They were drinking some ridiculously expensive bottles of alcohol they stole a few days ago, all of it was spinning across the floor. Nayeon couldn't care less for the bottles, her head was spinning too._

  
  
  


_Nayeon's whole face was warm, a loopy smile forming across her lips as she took another shot. Swallowing it in one go, letting the liquid pass with a brief burning sensation across her throat._

  
  
  


_If she was wasted, Sana wasn't better._

  
  
  


_Her vulnerability, her raw emotions, her locked up guilt. All of it was pouring down on her, pulling her to an endless pit of remorse inside her chest._

  
  
  


**_You just watch people die._ **

  
  
  


_Nayeon was trying her best from falling off her seat. Gripping the glass in her hand harder. Trying to distract herself as Sana smirks while drinking in front of her. Pouring her cup, slightly sluggish._

  
  
  


**_Nayeon, you failed to protect everyone you cared about._ **

  
  
  


_Sana slurs, and mumbles random things. Probably another comment about how she hated men or cops._

  
  
  


**_Tzuyu. Jihyo. Jeongyeon. Say their names. Utter the names of the people you let down._ **

  
  
  


_Nayeon couldn't take it anymore, even if what she was about to do was a mistake. She couldn't handle it anymore, she needed to pacify her thoughts. She's tired of being a prisoner of herself._

  
  
  


_So she did the next best thing. She stood up on her weak feet, grabbing Sana by the cheeks, pulling her into a searing kiss._

  
  
  


_She expected the worst. A hard shove, a painful slap, a knife on her chest. Any of it didn't happen. All she got in return was a soft moan._

  
  
  


_"What took you so long?" Sana gasped, taking a short gaze across her face before wrapping her hands on her shoulders, her lips searching for her lips again. "God knows how long I waited for this to happen."_

  
  
  


_They both fumbled on the floor. Trying to get as near as possible, their heads were still spinning from the alcohol or their feverish touches._

  
  
  


_Sana could only grunt in response. Nayeon's intoxicated brain can't process much, she can't even recall how they began to sprawl on the floor much less notice how her hands ended up lifting Sana's shirt up._

  
  
  


**_It's all your fault. Now you're lonely._ **

  
  
  


_"Hmm–I'm not lonely" Nayeon mumbled, shedding her last piece of clothing._

  
  
  


_Sana didn't hear a thing. She was too busy trying to remove her bra to hear any of it._

  
  
  


_Beads of sweat have formed on her forehead looking at Sana half-naked, she can't tell why her body's heart rate has spiked up this high, nor did she fail to discover why her body's heating up like this. Everything feels hot, even Sana's gaze, but at least she knows enough not to blame it completely on the alcohol._

  
  
  


_Her eyes never left Sana's chest, gulping as Sana started to unbutton her pants._

  
  
  


_"Are you just gonna stare or do you wanna fuck me until the sun's out?" Sana asked impatiently, lifting her ass to wiggle herself out._

  
  
  


_All of Nayeon's thoughts were out in the instant. She quickly removed her shirt and threw her pants across the room. And she practically lunges on Sana. Gripping her hair too tightly making the other girl whimper as Nayeon decidedly sat on her lap. Pushing Sana's back on the floor, trying to hover her._

  
  
  


_"I hope you like sleeping on the floor because there's no way in hell that you'd be able to stand after I'm finished with you." She warned._

  
  
  


_That very night sparked something between them. They discovered something so addicting that it felt like a sin to not do it again. Most of the night you'd find themselves exploring each other's bodies. They both know that being physically intimate might actually be the closest thing they'll ever get. And frankly, no one's complaining._

  
  
  


_They both carry baggage, opening them up would only wear them down. And in their life's situation, they simply don't have the luxury nor time to do so._

  
  
  


~~~

  
  
  


"As sick as you might see me. I do not regret anything." Nayeon insists, staring at the woman. Her calculating stare and observing eyes were on her watching her, thinking of a careful response.

  
  
  


_The nearer she got to her death, the more alive it just made her feel._

  
  
  


_She can't help but chuckle to herself, smiling so wide that made Sana glance at her raising her eyebrows like she's gone insane. She is, for a long time now._

  
  
  


_Sana was driving recklessly fast, just like she likes it. Nayeon was holding two guns, she didn't know what was faster the beat of her heart, their car moving, or the police sirens ringing her ears._

  
  
  


_"Aim for the head!" Sana ordered, punching the breaks as she took a sharp turn at the last second._

  
  
  


_The car didn't expect the turn and with that, the car barely turned left with hitting on the tree. Nayeon took that as an opportunity to lunge half of her body out the window and pull the trigger. Flawlessly hitting the man behind the steering wheel._

  
  
  


_The perfect aim with the right timing, it's the Im Nayeon way._

  
  
  


_The car was shuddering nonstop, barely keeping on the right side of the road until it screeched into a light post. The loud sound crash was music to her ears, making her grin as she went back to her seat._

  
  
  


_Sana looked at the rear mirror, her eyes were gleaming as she just witnessed Nayeon killing another cop. The icy wind was making the hair on the back of her neck stand up, her heart was pumping too fast–probably from the adrenaline._

  
  
  


_Sana couldn't care less, so she grabbed Nayeon by the chin. Pulling her to a quick daring kiss, in which Nayeon gladly responded._

  
  
  


_"Are we bad people?" Nayeon once asked herself that night, as Sana was trailing dark marks on her neck. While her hands were tearing off her shirt._

  
  
  


_Sana hummed but didn't stop._

  
  
  


_"Are we bad people?" Nayeon asked again, perhaps it was an awful time to ask that up, but it hasn't left her mind just yet. Even if Sana was one her lap, even when it's 3 am and she was inside a shabby motel room._

  
  
  


_"I hope so," Sana mumbled before moving her lips to her jaw. Biting it, teasing her. "Deep down we are all wicked and evil and twisted; in our own little ways. Some are just good at hiding them." She continued, it sounds rehearsed like it Sana told herself that countless times._

  
  
  


_Before Nayeon could come up with any reply, Sana pressed her back on the bed. Letting her know that she's getting impatient with all the depressing talk. Fortunately for Sana, Nayeon completely forgot how to talk after Sana's head went lower._

  
  
  


~~~

  
  
  


_'We're not good people.'_

  
  
  


_Nayeon wanted to butt in and deny such claims. The nun was telling them that they seem to be good people. She thanked them and commented on how much help it is for donating a huge amount of money for the orphanage._

  
  
  


_Enough with the ass-kissing, I just want to bolt._

  
  
  


_"It's really nothing. Anything for the children," Sana modestly turned down the nun's compliment. They were far from just. They were far from honorable. They're not even honest, not even on themselves._

  
  
  


_Sana and Nayeon gave half of their stolen money to an orphanage. Sana shrugged when Nayeon wanted to do it. It's not like they can spend it all, especially when they're wanted across the country. They drop by some random orphanage, leave some cash as anonymous donors._

  
  
  


_They watched the children play around the field for a bit while they sat on the grass watching the children run around and play. But two kids approached them._

  
  
  


_The two kids introduced themselves. They're sisters. The kid with the chubby cheeks was named Dahyun, while the shorter one that kinda resembles a cute cub was Chaeyoung._

  
  
  


_It was… odd. Being close to someone as innocent as them. The ignorant bliss to the world they still possess, she envies them._

  
  
  


_Sana talked to the children, so bubbly. It made her seem normal, it made Nayeon forget she was the same woman who hides knives under her clothes, who burns buildings out of a whim, the one who steals money she doesn't really need._

  
  
  


_She's not the same woman who doesn't think twice whenever she pulls the trigger, shooting at anyone who gets in their way. It's not the heartless empty woman she sleeps beside her at night that helps her fill up the huge void they both have in their lives._

  
  
  


_"What's with the shiny circle, unnie?"_

  
  
  


_The pocket watch. The precious watch she had always been obsessed about... Never leaving it by her possession or sight._

  
  
  


_"Ohh," Sana was caught off-guard. "It's a pocket watch." She took a step back. Her mood drastically changed. The usual sweet friendly look was gone, replaced with an emotionless woman Nayeon knows she is._

  
  
  


_"Unnie, It looks broken. Why do you still keep it?"_

  
  
  


_"Because I want to always be remembered that time is precious." She replied dryly. No more smiles, just the dull plain eyes she always hid behind._

  
  
  


_It's the first and last time Sana decided to go with her on her charity works._

  
  
  


_~~~_

  
  
  


"Six deaths and twenty-eight people injured," She sets a paper with a list of names on them. No one was familiar and she didn't bother to finish reading. "All because you guys stole things and robbed banks."

  
  
  
  


"You're dumber than you look if you expect me to feel sorry for anything I've done." She mumbled with a sick smile.

  
  
  
  


If someone looked into her eyes they would say something like empty, dull, numb, but Nayeon prefers the word bitter instead.

  
  
  


"No one's ever innocent. Even a baby kills her mother at birth. Whether you like it or not everyone's a killer in their own little way."

  
  
  


She stands up. Her hands were pressed on the table in seconds the clang of the metal chains and her breath was all she could hear. She leaned closed, their nose almost touching. A sneer painted across Nayeon's face while Mina didn't move an inch.

  
  
  


"You're what? Four or five years of being a police officer before acing your test into becoming a detective." She guessed, "Look me in the fucking eyes and tell me during that time you never killed someone. I don't fucking care if they're criminals or if they're guilty. Tell me you never took anyone's life using your badge and gun."

  
  
  


The detective went mum.

  
  
  


"That's what I thought," Nayeon continued, "You get paid to kill lawbreakers, but who's gonna stop you?"

  
  
  


"I'm guilty of a lot of things, but don't act like you're all innocent." Nayeon spat.

  
  
  


~~~

  
  
  


_"No, please she won'–" Jihyo's scream was cut short. She fell on her knees, clutching at the tiny hole on her stomach. It was soaked with red liquid. Her friend was coughing red, drowning at her own blood._

  
  
  


_She was defenseless. A bag on one hand and a knife at the other it was clear who would win between her and the cop._

  
  
  


_Jeongyeon with her tired limbs were powered with anger. Even with a limp, she ran towards the man. Charging him as fast as her legs took and pinned him to the ground._

  
  
  
  


_Nayeon can't believe what she was seeing. Jihyo laying on the ground trying to breathe or Jeongyeon beating the cop to a pulp. Swinging her arms from left to right until the man under her didn't move._

  
  
  


_It happened so fast, she felt her feet were stuck in place as it all took place. Moments after Jeongyeon was crawling towards Jihyo's motionless form. Tears were streaming down her face. Her hands were bruised, raw, and bloody. It was trembling as she held Jihyo's cold hands. Pressing the pale hand at her tear-tainted cheek._

  
  
  
  


_Their friend's eyes were closed, it was hard to say if she was still breathing. All she could do was kneel beside her._

  
  
  


_"Jeong," She tugged Jeongyeon's sleeves. Her hands felt heavier. There was an added weight she needed to start getting used to._

  
  
  


**_These are the hands of someone who let her friend die._ **

  
  
  


_"Jeong, we need to go." She was crying. She didn't know she was until her arm was wet with tears._

  
  
  


_With those sad and lost eyes, Jeongyeon looked at her. "You'd be crazy to think I'll be leaving her."_

  
  
  


_"B-but she's g-gone now. We can't do anything." Nayeon was trying to blink away her tears, her visions were blurry. It'll be the last time she'll see her face again, but Nayeon still wants to look at her face one last time._

  
  
  


_Jeongyeon grabbed her hand and gave her the gun. "Take it, and take this bag," She gave her the bag filled with noodles and food. It was supposed to be their one month supply of food._

  
  


_"–One of us needs to live. I fucking hate how we had to steal things to stay alive, yet by doing that it also cost her life," Jeongyeon sniffs, trying to hold back her tears. Eyes looked darker with pain and anger. "How cruel can the world be? We lost everything and when we tried to take something, the world still bites back. Harsher than ever."_

  
  
  


_"It's okay." Jeongyeon reassured, "I'd rather die by Jihyo's side than to spend another minute living in a world without her."_

  
  
  


_"Now go before neither of us could escape." Will her to stand up. "Do it for Jihyo at least."_

  
  
  


_With a heavy and grieving heart, she nodded as she placed the gun on her waist as she took the bag filled with cheap noodles that were supposed to be their dinner tonight. With a last tearful wave, Nayeon took off, not looking back even with the yells, the cries, or the sirens._

  
  
  


_Pressing her hand on the gun, holding it delicately. Reminding herself that the person who holds a gun will always be the most powerful one in the room._

  
  
  


_Nayeon wished she could not remember anything from that night but the red lights, the loud sirens, the screams, the gunshots, it'll haunt her, adding more things to torture her at night. She wished she could just erase it from her memory. She wished her mind wouldn't travel back… She never knew what happened to Jeongyeon but she knew well enough that some things are better left unknown._

  
  
  


~~~

  
  
  


The guard shoved her forward trying to hurry up her pace, all she could do was mutter a curse. 

  
  


She was pushed out of the door and introduced her to the cool breeze outside.

  
  


_I hope you die._ She grits her teeth.

  
  
  


How she wished she could shoot everybody right now. She misses the comforting weight of a gun in her hands.

  
  
  


He could've gotten a swift punch on the jaw if her hands weren't tied on her back.

  
  
  


What a chicken way to handle her. 

  
  
  


She looks around, delighted at the cold wind touching her skin. The sky was clear and bright.

  
  
  


A perfect day to die.

  
  
  


There were three police cars in total. Two of them escorted her to the court, it's her last hearing. The very trial that'll decide her fate, more accurately her life.

  
  
  


She was shoved at the backseat with two other policemen on her side (what can she say, she's special). The sirens, familiar and ironically calming her, even if she would be sentenced to death in a few hours.

  
  
  


The driver stepped on the brakes so suddenly their car crashed to the other one in front. Making everyone catapult forward. Thrashing her head to the metal screen with a thud.

  
  
  


Everything was supposed to be fine, but she guessed the world wanted to kill her already. Her death was something sooner than she expected.

  
  
  


Gunshots were soon heard. She could barely see a thing on the windshield because of the numerous cracks on them. The car's hood was smoking, which was no help to see the scene in front of her. The officers were rushing to exit the car, cocking their guns, shouting commands before they got outside. 

  
  
  


"Unbelievable. Don't fucking tell me–"

  
  
  


The officer from earlier shoved her back to her seat, adding another handcuff connecting her to the metal screen. Leaving her helpless inside, completely defenseless to any attacker.

  
  
  


"Yeah, you better get out. I hope you die, you bastard!"

  
  
  


All she knew was that she's gonna die regardless. She stayed inside and waited for the smoking car to just explode.

  
  
  


It was far better than to try to free herself and run outside where it's an open fire. She'll just end up getting herself shot.

  
  
  


A few more grunts and soon it was dead silent. Nayeon could only assume literally. Loud footsteps were heard as the person kicked the busted car door on her side. Revealing their face.

  
  
  


"Are you lost, baby girl?"

  
  
  


Nayeon swore she would've slapped her if she wasn't handcuffed or if she knew she doesn't have a concussion. Either way, she'll do it eventually.

  
  
  


"Fuck you."

  
  
  


"Oh baby, you can do that later. Come on, let's go before someone realizes I killed everyone." Twisting the now red wet keys–which she will not comment about–and freed Nayeon from the handcuffs that have been a pain for her for more than a week now.

  
  
  


Nayeon just stared, not moving an inch. Maybe she got hit in the head a little harder than she thought. Her throbbing head was getting the best of her.

  
  
  


"Do you trust me?" Sana was offering her hand to her. Waiting for an answer.

  
  
  


Even with all the time they spent together, Nayeon still thinks it's still a stupid question as stupid as the first time she asked it. Might even be more now.

  
  
  


"I don't," 

  
  
  


_But I don't have a choice._

  
  
  


She took Sana's firm hand. Sana helped her exit the car.

  
  
  


_And you're all I have_

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry.


End file.
